On Life 87 – Correcting Mistakes – August 2, 2015

   Tears filled her eyes as she said, “The moment you make a mistake, everybody forgets that you did a lot, and that one day, they thanked you.” In fact, she endured and did a great deal of good work that everybody was pleased with. Yet, when she made a mistake, harsh words ensued, as if others make no mistakes! Pain stopped her and made her wonder, “Do mistakes annihilate all good deeds?” This question has always reverberated in our ears.

   People keep wondering why some forget all your good deeds if you make one mistake. The answer is: because of weakness or loss of love. Deep love makes people remember others’ good deeds perpetually. Despite the fact that we get exceedingly sad when our dear ones make mistakes, our deep love for them makes us recall the good and kind deeds they did to us. Sometimes others behave in a certain way toward you when you make a mistake just to leave you. It is said, “Some people do not leave you because you made a mistake. Rather, they have always wanted you to make it in order to leave you.”

   Whoever forgets good deeds does not care about the person, but about a specific situation, which makes him misjudge things. Thus, he separates man from the impact that circumstances have on him which leads to making mistakes, which is why we should remember that humans are fallible. None of them is perfect. Hence, the real mistake is not learning from one’s mistakes, for learning adds more lessons, awareness, wisdom and experience to one’s character. These help him overcome the likelihood of making mistakes in the future. Bernard Shaw says, “Success is has nothing to do with not making mistakes. It has to do with not repeating them.”

   Here, another question pops into one’s mind, “Does this mean that we never mention others’ mistakes to them?” Of course not! There is a great difference between talking to someone lovingly, clarifying his mistake or inquiring about a stance of his, and punishing him for that mistake, having forgotten and sometimes neglected his positive attributes. Thus, your words and stance become unfit to his mistakes! In like manner love makes you endure others’ mistakes and help them overcome them, it is the way you correct the mistakes which others do not heed, or simply justify with adorned words. We should be patient with those people in order to educate them. Be a physician who cures the mistake, not the person who makes it.

General Bishop

Head of the Coptic Orthodox Cultural Center