In our last article, we tackled wisdom regarding silence and speech, we tackled one of the important attributes of the wise person which is being a good listener, and how he preserves himself during tribulations by speaking the right words at the right time, as he is aware of the impact of every word.
A wise person never rushes to speak:
When a wise man speaks, he chooses the right time and the right words for the situation and people, thus his words are always constructive, for good and peace, he speaks in truth and of truth without hurting anybody.
A wise person is distinguished by self-control, he doesn’t speak rashly as a result of another’s provocative behavior, rather restraining his lips.
It is said: “Wisdom is the prize received by man through life’s journey, as a result of listening instead of speaking.” This means that whenever he wants to speak, he holds his peace, so he may listen more. Such a human trains himself to be quiet and listen patiently, at a time when he wants to speak; such a person is capable of restraining himself to circumvent matters being escalated with poor outcomes.
The following figurative story expresses the abovementioned idea. A man was driving quickly one day, when suddenly a child crossed the road, but the driver managed to control the car via the brakes and didn’t run over the little boy. At the same time, a mother and her daughter were passing by, and the mother said: “Unless the driver had powerful brakes, the car would not have stopped and an accident would have taken place. The same applies to the tongue, it must be restrained, so it might not utter destructive words.”
It is very important to choose a right time to speak. You should speak at a time when the listener can understand you and wants to listen to you; besides, you shouldn’t talk to someone who’s exhausted or busy or angry, or else certainly your words will be wasted in vain, or you might even lose that person.
Also choose words suited to the situation, as well as the people you talk to, so you can achieve your goal. It is said that it’s not enough to know what you should say, but you should say it appropriately. Hence, do not be like Rehoboam, King Solomon’ son, when the people spoke to him thus, “Your father made our yoke heavy; now therefore, lighten the burdensome service of your father.” And he answered them cruelly, saying: “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke; my father chastised you with whips, but I will chastise you with scorpions!”, and as a result, the kingdom was divided, and just one and a half tribes out of eleven tribes followed David’s kingdom.
A wise person builds using his words:
The wise are always asked to speak, and their words are always for the good, edification and benefit of those around them, because their words are so precious that they teach whoever seeks them good lessons that bring usefulness to their lives.
One story tells of a young man who was hired to work in a coal mine, and was so enthusiastic that he set to work very early in the morning, before everybody else and started working diligently, striking strongly with his tool on the stones to extract coal. Two hours later, an old man came along, then the young man said to himself: “I will achieve more work than you, old man.”
The old man began working, as he was healthy and struck gently. Once again the youth said to himself: “He strikes slowly, definitely I’ll achieve more work than his.” He continued working, and at the end of the day, the youth was surprised to see the elderly man accomplish more work than he.
So the next day, the youth decided to double his effort and he indeed worked very hard indeed, but eventually, the elderly man accomplished more work than his! Then, he started thinking and wondering about the mystery behind the elderly man’s success, despite his being there before others and working harder with all his strength!!
When he couldn’t find an answer, he decided to ask the old man, so he went and begged pardon to talk to him, and the elderly man welcomed him. When he had expressed his confusion, the elderly man laughed and said: “Oh, son, use your mind, think how to use the tool intelligently.” However, when the elderly man noticed the youth’s confusion, he added: “Son, it is neither important to strike powerfully on the stone, nor to strike abundantly, nor even the length of time. The most important thing is how, where, when you strike! For, you may strike just once at the right spot, in the right manner, at the right time, which is better than one hundred strikes.”
Thus, the words of the wise old man were a true guide to the life of that young man.
A wise person never insults with his words:
When a wise man speaks or works, he doesn’t hurt anyone’s feelings.
There’s an admirable story about a wise man and a gate, which was so huge and heavy. The inhabitants of the city wanted to enter!! So they tried to open it forcibly, they pushed it with all their strength, finally they tried to break it; however, all their attempts came to nothing for the gate was exceedingly solid. Then the wise man of that city came forward and all eyes were fixed on him: What can this elderly man do after all the inhabitants of the city failed?!!”
The wise old man simply poured some oil on the hinges of the gate, and the gate gave way easily.
Many people try to address problems with force, harshness, violence, cruelty and decisiveness, when merely gentleness is needed, which is only perceived by wise men.
A wise person’s words are peace:
When the wise man speaks, he is a peacemaker.
They say: “Whenever the power of love overcomes the love of power, then peace will prevail all over the world.”For the wise perceives the value and the power of love derived from God, so his quest is always to make peace among human beings through his words and actions.
When others realize that you are a peacemaker, then your words will have the strongest impact on whomever you deal with.
Scripture mentions that when Abraham our forefather learned of God’s wrath, which was kindled against Sodom and Gomorrah because of their abundant wickedness, Abraham interceded for them before God that He might not destroy the city for the sake of the righteous people, and Abraham had a long dialogue with God, seeking an outcome of good and peace.
A wise person speaks at the right moment:
A wise person does not hold his peace at the time when speaking is needed, as he doesn’t speak at the time he should hold his peace, for he speaks and announces truth without hurting anybody but loving everybody, desiring edification and prosperity wherever he goes, and happiness for whomever he meets.
I’ll conclude my article with a story that happened in New York city, when an old man was accused of stealing a loaf of bread, and stood before “La Guardia”, a mayor famous for his simultaneous firm justice and humaneness. The old man was trembling in fear and justified that he had to steal the bread, because he would otherwise have starved to death. The mayor told him: “So, you confess to stealing. Therefore, I’ll fine you ten dollars.” Everybody in the courtroom fell silent, astonished.
Meanwhile, the mayor took $10 out of his pocket and put them in the court treasury, after which he addressed the crowd, saying: “Those 10 dollars are not enough, so everyone of you should pay a ten dollar fine for living in a city, where an old man is forced to steal bread to avoid starving.”
The mayor took off his hat and handed it to one of the officials who passed it around, collecting $480 dollars in fines from the crowd, who paid willingly, and gave them to the defendant together with an apology decree from the court.
To be continued…
