We resumed speaking of the rules of a good dialogue that it should be mixed with fun, concise, respectful and classy, devoid of prejudice against persons or ideas furthermore honest.
Other matters may cause failure of the dialogue represented in lack of knowledge, anger, destructive criticism, desire to control,and using the same way of discussion with all people.
Failure of dialogue
Lack of knowledge
Lack of knowledge in general and in the topic discussed in particular is considered a barrier toward a successful dialogue. General knowledge and having enough information on specific topic are critical matters. The speaker in this case has nothing to say and thus the dialogue would be doomed to failure. Moreover, the speaker should obtain accurate information and use it correctly at the right time.
Anger
Anger, either verbal or non verbal, affects the dialogue negatively and creates tension that ends the dialogue.
Some people become nervous during any discussion in general even if they do not hold opposite opinions with other speakers. As a result, a negative atmosphere dominates over the discussion and leads to end it.
Destructive Criticism
It arises from hatred between the speakers or their attempt to prove themselves. It ends the dialogue before it even starts. Skills and values needed to make a successful dialogue should be taught. We should keep in mind that there is no right or wrong opinion. Thus, we should adhere to subjective criticism that involves the merits and demerits of an opinion or action in order to reach the best solutions and make a purposeful discussion.
Desire to dominate
Any dialogue is considered a roundtable meeting and that meant all the speakers are equal and none of them should try to dominate or impose his point of view on others. Any attempt to do any of the aforementioned will turn the discussion into a conflict over control the discussion.
Speakers who tend to control the discussion have hidden intention or goals and want to achieve it. They cannot accept the idea of adversity and thus they become prey intellectual inertia and diminishment of creativity. They also tend to hide their weakness or lack of reason. However, people who are afraid of diversity of opinions do not realize that it is the only way to create innovative ideas.
Using the same way of discussion with all people
Different personalities need different ways of dealing with especially during a discussion. A good speaker should keep in mind the differences between people in mental ability, type of personality and level of knowledge.
As for mental abilities, dealing with genius people differs from dealing with those who have a limited understanding of the topic discussed. Dealing with a suspicious character differs from a suspicious, paranoid personalities or perfection seekers.
A discussion with a scientist differs completely form that with a limited-knowledge person. As the saying goes you should talk according to the minds of people who are listening to you. A dialogue between a manager and his employees would vary from that between a husband and a wife.
Sarcasm
Many discussions failed due to verbal or nonverbal sarcasm. There is a huge difference between adding an element of fun to a discussion or dialogue and ridiculing or belittling of the opinions of other speakers that makes others refuse to participate in the discussion even if their opinions were not ridiculed.
As for the good speaker….
To be continued
General Bishop
Head for the Coptic Orthodox Cultural Center
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